Liv

NAME: Olivia Malone

ABOUT ME: ah. if i met myself i’d think i was total idiot. so i’m not gonna tell you about me. instead i will give you my guide to on How To Dance:

- find your people, find a place. anywhere will do as long as the music is LOUD. you want to feel it in your kidneys, not your ears.

- beginners: the booty is where it's at. do your duty to your booty.

- if you're not feeling the music yet, drink more. booze exists to help you dance to music you don't really like.

- if you're not sweating, you're doing it wrong. shake it like you hate it.

- spill your drink. it's ok! it's also ok to spill other people's drinks. a wet dancefloor increases dancing options and helps you pretend you are in a Jay Z video.

- it's ok if other people laugh at your dancing. it means you have your own style - do not abandon it. it will eventually blossom into something unique and powerful. awesome moves are the best revenge. move closer to the speaker and drink more.

- strive to be Ridiculous but try not to be Ironic. ironic dancing can very quickly become your actual dancing. this is not a crisis, but... come on hotstuff, you're better than that.

- take drugs and encourage your friends to do the same, especially the shy ones.

- while you are dancing you may want to tell people stuff. that's OK. grab a stranger and let it out. the dancefloor is a holy place and you are speaking in tongues.

- if you fall over, it's OK. look around. you might find money or drugs or a new friend for life down there.

- don’t dance to try to be sexy. if you have followed the above rules you ARE sexy. in dancing, as with many things, enthusiasm is more important than technique.

- don't stop. keep going louder harder faster till you are nothing and all you can feel is noise. submit to the music – that is what you came here for. no human being can make you forget yourself like that. surrender to be free.

- if you puke down yourself, it’s over. go home.

er... guess that's it. i really have no idea what i'm saying... but i think i just found a whole new deeper level of shallowness. anyway. see you on the floor.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Married to Dr Raoul Duke.

BOOKS: Really don't read as much as i used to but it'd have to be: HST (RIP), Philip K Dick, The Animals of Farthing Wood, Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith.

MUSIC: Dubstep, Hard DnB, Die Antwoord for mellow times.

MOVIES: Kids, A Scanner Darkly, Dazed and Confused, Bright Young Things, Anchorman, Blades of Glory, The Other Guys, anything in which Mel Gibson dies.

TV: Banged Up Abroad, BSG, Firefly, South Park, Twin Peaks, Hollyoaks (for a hangover), The Gilmore Girls (for a total chemical collapse).

MOTTO/QUOTATIONS: 'Don’t stop til you get enough...'